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  • Writer's pictureSurapsari Fujimaru

Releasing Attachment

I’m sorting out my clothes, books, paperwork, and objects from the past in my closet. I’m familiar with this process of major decluttering. I was here a year ago surrounded by my belongings that didn’t belong to me energetically anymore. Here I am again, going over the things I cherished at one point in the past. Some of them still have holding power over me. But some others don't because I moved on to welcome other things. As I place some items in the giveaway pile, I feel a subtle ache in my heart. This book, this skirt, and this gift from a friend have been sitting in my closet for a while. I never thought of them in the past year. I didn't even take a look at them. Obviously, I can live without them totally fine. Why is it so hard to let them go? Because they are the symbols of my intentions, hopes, and dreams that I once held dear in my heart.

Attachment is like a wave. It comes and goes, sometimes gently, sometimes with overwhelming force. One day, we feel we can’t live without a certain object, person, lifestyle, or memory. The next day, we don’t even think about it. When we are attached to something, our hearts feel ripped if the object of attachment is taken away from us. It causes pain: the pain that exposes us to vulnerability, the pain that pushes us to the edge of our comfort zone.

What would happen if I nudge myself over that edge by letting go of these objects? Will I feel more pain or gain a sense of freedom and power?

Tidying guru, Marie Kondo streamlined the steps of decluttering. Pick up the object that has not been used for a long time and hold it close to the heart. If it sparks joy, keep it. If not, let it go. I hold each object in my closet close to my heart and wait until a feeling of love arises. Many items evoke love, sweet or bitter-sweet. Love that lifts me or weighs down on me. Love that envelops me with sweet tenderness and appreciation or love tinged with nostalgia, even some sadness.

I decide to let go of the objects that evoke bitter-sweet love. It feels right to do so. I then take a glance at other objects, the things that make me feel warm and sweet. Following Marie’s advice, I place them in the keeper pile. Then, I stop.

How wonderful would it be if I feel this warm, sweet love all the time without any objects that evoke the feeling? How about if I share this feeling of love with others by giving these things away?

I close my eyes and ask myself if that is truly what I want to do. I descend into silence and wait until an answer arises.


I pick up the things that brought me much love, tenderness, and sweetness. I place them in the giveaway box, thinking about whom I want to share them.

"As a leaf falling off the branch, as the wave leaving the shore, keep flow with life, no holding on, let it go." – Surapsari


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