"Mike wanted me to leave. It was so obvious in his attitude," Jeff says bitterly. He recently resigned from the company he had worked only for half a year. I asked him about the reason for his decision.
"Workplace conflicts," he replied. "Mike never liked me but kept hiding it. It was toxic."
"Have you ever asked Mike what he was feeling about you?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it was so clear that he disliked me."
I see Jeff's door closed to Mike and other co-workers. It was also closed to me at the beginning of our coaching relationship. Once I showed him my door was open for him and asked him questions rather than giving him advice, he opened up to me, and we were communicating in the field where a shift could take place and lead to a change and transformation.
"Whatever workplace you choose, there will almost always be people who tick you,” I warn Jeff.
“It will be up to you whether you keep your door open to them or stay closed. If your door is open, their door will eventually open too. Then you will be able to share your honest feelings with them in a non-combating way, with respect and love."
Interpersonal communication is a fertile ground for learning, growth, and transformation. It is as sacred as scriptures or even more.
I have studied world religions since my spiritual initiation in 1998. Zen, Tibetan Buddhism, Balinese mysticism, Vedic teaching, and Sufism especially touched my heart. I realized each spiritual tradition was a door to genuine love, compassion, and peace. It doesn't matter which door we go through. We will eventually meet in the same place of oneness.
Life gives us many doors. Every person we encounter and every incident we experience is a door to the sacred space. Let’s keep our doors open no matter how heavy they are sometimes. If your door is open and so is the other person's, you will dance together in the light.
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." – Flora Whittemore
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